A message from the Prof:

At long last! After many delays and false starts the Second Annual
Erotic Literature and Poetry Contest is finally underway!!!


Yes, that's right, at long last you can put all that excess, undirected
sexual energy to good productive use. We here at Piledriver
Publishing -- a subsidiary of SIL2K Enterprises International -- are
proud to be able to bring you and your loved ones the SECOND (somewhat)

You know you have those fantasies, those dirty thoughts that fill your
mind, the nasty stories you whisper to yourself or another in those
stolen private moments, the sleepy dreams so sultry that even now they
make you squirm in your seat just to think about them. Those very
thoughts you're linger over even now, that you find so hard to put out
of your mind, these, my friend, are the stuff of some truly great erotic

The rules for the contest are simple:

1) All entries must be submitted under and assumed name or pseudonym of
some sort. No entries will be accepted using the authors real name and
any entries submitted without a "nom de plume" may be assigned one
according to the whim of the Panel of Judges.

2) Please only two entries per pen-name. (But prolific authors are
encouraged to use more than one pseudonym, as needed.)

3) Entries may be either prose or poetry, original works of any length
and on any subject that is deemed appropriately arousing to the author
of the work. All entries submitted will be read by the esteemed Panel
of Judges.

4) The deadline for all entries is Saturday, June 9th, 2001.

The super sexy secret Panel of Judges will award prizes for overall Best
of Show, Wettest Poem and the Finest Purple Prose. The Judges will also
be empowered to grant additional awards at their own discretion and as
they see fit. (Such as "Best Use of an Inanimate Object in a Supporting
Role" or "Filthiest 18 Syllable Haiku" for example.)

So get writing! You've melted the keyboard with your drippingly dirty
e-mails and filled whole journals with tales unquenched desire. You've
put the "X" in phone-sex, made strong men weep and otherwise modest
ladies beg for more and more. So now's the chance to put that talent to
work! Your decadent, filthy, nasty, dirty little entries may be
submitted in any number of ways:

1) You can e-mail them to me at proftim@speakeasy.org (Where I will
immediately remove the text from the headers to insure your continued

2) You could, of course, drop them off in my mailbox when I'm not home
and then scurry away again into the shadows.

3) Or you can use the preferred method and enter completely and totally
anonymously by using the untraceable entry forms provided at:

All entries the judges consider noteworthy will be compiled into a
chapbook to be released for the edification and enjoyment of all. (And
possibly distributed at a party, to be announced later as the summer's
heat rises to a fevered pitch.)

What are you waiting for, enter today!

And if you need a little help getting those creative juices of yours
flowing, why don't you take a moment right now to send off an obscene
e-mail to that special (or, soon to be special) someone. You know
they'll enjoy reading it almost as much as you'll enjoy writing it! Do
it now...

And if you still need more inspiration, be sure to check out some of
last year's submissions at: http://www.speakeasy.org/~proftim/erotica

(Or contact me directly about ordering a copy of last years chapbook
when it goes into it's third printing run sometime later this month.)

Love and dirty thoughts-

p.s. If you'd like to be on this year's Panel of Judges please write me
a brief e-mail (1000 words or less) explaining in exquisite detail why
exactly you are more qualified than all the rest to judge things hot and

St. Germain kicked ass! The crowd was really into it. Everyone was dancing and the band did a really good job of hyping the crowd. Maggie and Paula's gallery opening was a smash too. Having seen the space a month ago, I was really surprised at how well it turned out. The ladies had a very nice turnout and It looks like Paula sold a ton of clothes. I only wish I could've stayed longer!

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