My friend James turned 30 this week so we all got together at TOST in Fremont to celebrate. I met James' sister, who I didn't know existed until that night. Apparently he was "protecting her" from the more lecherous members of our little posse (good call, btw). Since she seemed to have a pretty good idea of who I was, I can only imagine the stories...
Anyway, whether by accident or design, my friend Marjan showed up. The booze was flowing copiously and awhile everyone was pretty hammered. Marjan came over to where I was and leaned on me-quite bombed.
"Hey, this reminds me of the first time we met", says I.
Marjan mumbled something and went into one of the unisex bathrooms.
A second later this petite, really cute Heather Locklear look-a-like wandered over and propped herself against me. She was hammered too.
"Uh...hey." I said.
"Hi. I'm from Alabama. This is my first time here." She slurred.
Marjan came out of the bathroom and was standing in front of me, watching the dancers.
"She's really cute." said Alabama.
"Yeah, she is."
"I wanna take her home with me. Is she a lesbian?"
I wasn't expecting this! Heh.
"Uh, as for I know, she likes guys...but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to ask her."
Unfortunately, Alabama's guy friend appeared and led her outside for some fresh air.
I patted Marjan on the back, she was completely oblivious.
"There you go, breaking hearts everywhere you go."
"What?!" she said.
"That blond girl wants to take you home!" I crowed.
"But I like men!" Marjan protested.
"Couldn't you do it as personal favor to me?!" I pleaded.
Marjan looked at me blankly.
"Do what?"
I sighed.

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