OK...decision made. Never mind, I'm not gonna do it.

I was thinking about moving out of SOUL HEAVEN and into a small house, but the house turned out to be a little too small.
So there...

Anyway, I've been thinking about the Dean campaign's amazing implosion over the last couple of weeks and I'm kinda mystified at the way the whole thing is being played out in the press. It appears that I'm not the only one wondering why things are turning out the way they are.
If I was a conspiracy theorist, I'd think there was some sort of collaboration between the DLC and certain media outlets. Considering the masterful handling of the media by the current administration, I wonder is it collusion or coincidence?

Either way, I am NOT happy about Kerry sudden ascention. I think he's git and too likely to compromise. In the event of a Democrat winning the White House, he would have to face a hostile GOP dominated congress. I want someone with spine.
I ain't seeing any with Kerry.


I've got something big in the works...well, big to me...but I shouldn't say anything about it until I make a decision. More later...


My Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...

Ghaddammit! That Kelis song has been stuck in my freakin' head for days now!! I finally gave in and dowloaded three versions of it, 'cause if I gotta suffer so does everyone else I know--OK?!
My coworker Renee began to chuckle the moment I played it, so it appears that I Am Not The Only One.

And that video?! Damn!!

I wonder if the big-hair, Reboks-acid-wash 80's thing is on it's way back?
Paging Quando3!!

Anyway, Neil wrote and reminded me that we also discussed Kegel excercises - (techniques and equipment) and the contribution that (yeargh!) Sex and The City has made to women's collective consciousness.


WhiskDumbAss came home yesterday with some nasty-lookin' stitches. Frito is calling him Frankendog...and well, you know what I call him.

I'm gonna be spinnin' some tunes at The Baltic Room during Happy Hour tonight. I'm planning on NOT planning a set. So no telling what you'll hear, but it should be pretty kewl.
The Thing You Love is Killing You (Dawson)
I see your face all is not well you try to hide it away but it's easy to tell you stick to your guns even though you know it's true the thing you love is killing you when you were a kid inspiration called slowly you've narrowed it down to a desk and a wall you pour out your soul to a world who's indifference is spelled out for you the thing you love is killing you the thing you love won't let you sleep your house out of order and your resistance weak and what could you offer with such desperate eyes? you try to recover a year at a time and when it's all over what conclusion do you come to? the thing you love is killing you


It's been a busy day. I got off work at 7AM, came home and found I couldn't sleep. I wrote some posts, fell in love with Nigella, talked to some people on the phone, sent some email.
At 4PM I went downtown to attend a work related seminar that lasted about an hour. Cindy took Whiskey out to the dog park, where he promptly got into an altercation with a German Shepard, requiring him getting some staples and an overnight stay in the doggy hospital.
Frito came home and told me that Fey Ray may be featured in an online mag! Whoop!
Cindy made dinner for all of us, we rocked out to GBV and then I took off for Studio Seven.
I got there in time to catch the beginning of NMVGPRTS set. The fellas looked nervous, but by their third song, they hit their stride. I guess (if you haven't gone to their page and downloaded the mp3's there) Sean and Gaz's clean and melodic guitar lines make me wanna say their music is like a proggy Pell Mell. I mentioned this to Sean and he was quite pleased with the comparison, being a huge Pell Mell fan! Chad played drums on their first song, then traded with Jason who was playing bass.
The crowd was digging their set and asked for an encore, but got the big TD.
They have more gigs coming up, so check out their site for more info (it's over on the left)
Next up was Veronsky, who sounded a lot like Primus...a band I really don't care for. Some of the grooves were cool, but I prefer melody and dynamics over intricate math-y playing.
Last (but not least!) was TransAtlantic IceFloe...I've written quite a bit about them but then I really feel y'all should recognize! Their music is like standing under a clear blue sky and watching a shimmering, shiny sheet-like object fluttering high above -- Only to watch it turn hard, angular, heavy and sharp, crashing to earth and causing terrible distruction before reverting to its former form and floating away again....And no...I am not high.
Tab and Megan seemed to have a more, ah, physical response to the music, but they may have been exaggerating!
I'm home now (duh!) and haven't slept in over 24 hours...

Orf to bed!


Revelation #804

I have this theory: The fifth time is the best. Whether you're at band practice and working on a new song - or getting it on with your new main squeeze, the fifth time is ossem!
I used to say that songs by Guided By Voices sounded like they reheased them exactly five times and committed them to tape. At the time I said this, it was an observation, although some of those that agreed with me thought it was a put-down.
My bandmate Matt used to say, "Pollard writes great parts."
I was pretty ambivelent about GBV for most of the time I've known about them. I picked up "Bee Thousand" and "Alien Lanes" and even "Isolation Drills". I admit that I don't much care for the newer, shiny-ier, model (which I guess started somewhere around "Mag Earhwig!") but compared to some people I know, I wouldn't even rate as a fan (After all, this band has like, three box sets) until Sunday, when I picked up "The Best of Guided By Voices: Human Amusements at Hourly Rates". Some of these tunes I know already from the three aforementioned albums, but the rest!
It's like seeing the fuckin' Sistine Chapel in person for the first time!
How come none of you fuckers grabbed me by the lapels and made me listen to "The Best of Jill Hives" or "Teenage FBI"?!"
Stu once told me that Frank Zappa had something he called his "Conceptual Continuity", I guess that if you listened to all the albums, some sort of secret would be revealed. I'm convinced that it's Robert Pollard who holds the secrets. All I have to do is keep listening...

Anybody who can pen 32 songs as good as these (and this is only a small selection of their total output) is a friggin genius.

Matt, you betta recognize!
Revalation #803

I've just watched Nigella Bites for the first time.

Oh. My. Gahd...
"You Haven't Done Nothing"
-Stevie Wonder

We are amazed but not amused
By all the things you say that you'll do
Though much concerned but not involved
With decisions that are made by you

But we are sick and tired of hearing your song
Telling how you are gonna change right from wrong
'Cause if you really want to hear our views
"You haven't done nothing"!

It's not too cool to be ridiculed
But you brought this upon yourself
The world is tired of pacifiers
We want the truth and nothing else

And we are sick and tired of hearing your song
Telling how you are gonna change right from wrong
'Cause if you really want to hear our views
"You haven't done nothing"!

Jackson 5 join along with me say
Doo doo wop - hey hey hey
Doo doo wop - wow wow wow
Doo doo wop - co co co
Doo doo wop - naw naw naw
Doo doo wop - bum bum bum
Doo doo wop

We would not care to wake up to the nightmare
That's becoming real life
But when mislead who knows a person's mind
Can turn as cold as ice un hum

Why do you keep on making us hear your song
Telling us how you are changing right from wrong
'Cause if you really want to hear our views
"You haven't done nothing"!

Jackson 5 sing along again say
Doo doo wop
Doo doo wop - oh
Doo doo wop - co co co
Doo doo wop - sing it baby
Doo doo wop - bum bum bum
Doo doo wop - um
Sing it loud for your people say
Doo doo wop - um um um

Doo doo wop - stand up be counted, say
Doo doo wop - co co co
Doo doo wop - ow
Doo doo wop - bum bum bum
Doo doo wop - ah hum



Went out with the boyz and girlz on Friday. First to the Baltic, then to this new joint across the street called The Chapel. The Chapel is in a former funeral home and was dark, loud and full of the Microsofties and frat types that used to hang out at the Capitol Club (that is when they're not running around in Belltown). We had to stand in line for about 20 minutes to get in. I (of course) didn't really wanna, but curiousity did me in. After getting a couple of drinks we bailed and headed up Pine St. to Bimbo's Burrito Kitchen for some late night grub.

I got up early the next day and took a ferry over to Bremerton to see Patty. She and Chad have separated, though he bought a house about a mile away. Patty and I walked over to his place and he gave me a tour, then the three of us went out for Mexican food and then shopping in Silverdale. After dropping us off, Chad went home and Patty and I watched "Kill Bill" (Ossem!) and several episodes of "Cowboy Bebop". Patty took me out to breakfast the next day and then I headed back to Seattle and band practice...and work.

My dreams of Donovan McNabb and Howard Dean winning their respective contests this week have been crushed!

I stayed home from work last night due to insomnia and feeling a cold coming on. I slept from 3 until 10, called in - watched TV, then slept until 8AM this morning.
Tomorrow, I have the night off! I'm going to see El Stu's band TransAtlantic IceFloe and El Chad's band, NMVGPRTS (nomovingparts) at Studio Seven in Sodo!
It will be their first gig together, and NMVGPARTS first Seattle show!
My band Fey Ray, is getting a website redesign and has some upcoming gigs:

Feb 24 @ DMX - instore (Muzak)
Feb 25 @ The Sunset Tavern with The Stares and The Malinks - Fey Ray Record Release - please come on out!
Mar 06 @ KEXP's Audioasis.

Hopefully, y'all will be able to make it to the Sunset, it's gonna be a good time!

Also, I'd like to give a shout out to my boys in the Sun|Tzu Soundsystem for celebrating thier first anniversary putting on Future Soul!! It's been a lot of hard work and I wish them even greater success in '04!! (Hint: Bring Curtis Mantronix to town!)

For deeper analysis of what is Going On In The World Today, youse should check out The Power and Interest News Report, it gives easy to understand updates on various hotspots around the globe and how they are influenced (or influenced by) U.S. foreign policy. I need to link them over on the side there soon.

You should be stopping by Talking Points Memo, like, daily...for real.

And the Center for American Progress (one o' them lefty think-tanks) will be doing a breakdown of tonight's State of the Union speech. I suspect they have their work cut out for them!

Finally, I got this nice note this morning:

hi stacey

i am glad you are my friend

love 4ever,


I wanna say I'm glad you are my friend too, Trish!
This summer is gonna be so Ossem!

2 good
2 b
4 gotten!


Nine Wunnerful Things About Mercedes:

1. She's smart ('natch! She dated me!)
2. She speaks Norwegian(!) and French fluently, can get around in Spanish and Italian, Japanese and know a little Thai(!)
3. She's lived in France and Egypt.
4. Still tells me she loves me (after all these years!)
5. She sings and Acts.
6. She loves my musical suggestions.
7. She tells great stories.
8. Has interesting nicknames for her friends (I'm BoyStacey)
9. Reads my blog!

Hey, that was pretty easy! I know some of you are going "When is he gonna extol my virtues?!"
Well, probably someday soon, but until then --
You just haven't earned it yet, baby/You just haven't earned it my son
You just haven't earned it yet, baby/You must suffer and cry for slightly longer


There's a pretty good article on Salon about Howard Dean and the way he's being portrayed in the media. I'm quietly supporting him (for now), because I think he's got the guts to take on Bush and a hostile congress as pres-O-dent. Besides, my political writing sucks! (See Matt instead.) There are other things I like about Dean. This piece shows why he's different than the DLC Dems who do nothing but cover their asses and play it safe. As Oliver Willis says, "We're at war, people!"

Update: Hey! No Kiddin'!!


Quotes on the subject of Guilt

How guilt once harbour'd in the conscious breast, Intimidates the brave, degrades the great.
Author: Samuel Johnson
Source: Irene (act IV, sc, 8)

A guilty conscience never feels secure.
Author: Syrus (Publilius Syrus)
Source: Maxims

Every guilty person is his own hangman.
Author: Seneca
Source: None

Guilt is the source of sorrow, tis the fiend,The avenging fiend, that follows us behindWith whips and stings.
Author: Nicholas Rowe
Source: None

How unhappy is he who cannot forgive himself.
* Publilius Syrus

"No disease of the imagination ... is so difficult of cure as that which is complicated with the dread of guilt: fancy and conscience then act interchangeably upon us, and so often shift their places that the illusions of one are not distinguished from the dictates of the other. If fancy presents images not moral or religious, the mind drives them away when they give it pain; but when melancholic notions take the form of duty, they lay hold on the faculties without opposition, because we are afraid to exclude or banish them. For this reason the superstitious are often melancholy, and the melancholy almost always superstitious."
Johnson: Rasselas [Imlac]
The temperature is back up, the bike is safe and sound (no tickets!), snow is gone and I hadda a wunnerful wunnerful weekend with the boyz and girlz.

What did you do?


I came home yesterday, after stopping for groceries. Made myself some dinner and then climbed into bed. I started rereading Gibson and Sterling's "The Difference Engine" because I was really disappointed by it when it came out years ago. Around 11, I slept. I woke up around 3PM. Cindy was watching TV and I chatted with her a bit. Then back to bed, this time I woke up at 11!!
I called into work to let them know I was going to be late and -- since it was dry out and it would've taken 45 minutes to get to work, I took my motorcycle. When I got in I found out it was supposed to snow!
I decided to tough it out. I figured I'd take my chances getting home if the streets were clear at 6. Not a chance. There was no traffic overnight so 2nd Avenue had a nice blanket of snow on it when I checked at 2AM.
I decided to take the bus home and leave my bike downtown. I'd probably get a ticket (or towed) but it was better than dead or maimed. Oddly, the ride home was quite pleasent. I wore my thermal suit, so I wasn't the least bit cold and most of the buses had chains.
The snow is supposed to turn to rain overnight...hopefully, by tomorrow I'll be able to bring Betty home. I'd really hate to leave her a second night.


The NYE CHAC festivities went well. We pre-functioned at Stu's before taking the bus over. We got there early enough to squeeze into a booth and...from there the night becomes a blur! But nobody got killed or pregnant-so it was all good.
Yesterday, Micah invited me to play some Dub during happy hour at the Baltic Room. In addition to a couple free drinks, I made 10 bucks!!
2004 already feels better than last year. Even The Doldrums aren't bothering me. (Maybe I had my SAD-induced funk early this year-like in May) Today I resolved some long-standing issues with someone I love dearly but don't communicate with as well as I should.
It's been snowing off and on all day and I'm looking forward to chillin' at the homestead with Frito and Cindy.
That mighty post-rock outfit that El Stu plays drums in: TransAtlantic Ice Floe is playing Sonarchy Radio on KEXP (KEXP.org) tonight at 11 (PST). Please tune in! I hope they play "King of Prussia" 'cause that shit is EPIC, yo.


I May Hate You Sometimes
(The Posies)

Here we are--only been a couple of years
Maybe longer
Yes it’s true--i’m no good at being the strong man
You’re stronger
But I think--maybe you should take a good look
At my feelings
Can’t you see--i’m another one just like you
A human being

I don’t want to have to sacrifice to have to get along
I don’t ever want to be the one to say I’m wrong
I may hate you sometimes, but I’ll always love you

What did you say--it’s so hard for me to remember
What you meant
How did it happen--was it preconcieved
Or a complete accident
I still recall--we were once happy together
Smiling faces
But things have changed--and now you’re only happy when
I remember where my place is

I don’t want to have to live up to your expectations
I don’t ever want to be the one to end relations
I may hate...

Do you think you could treat me
Like somebody special
I can’t be everything to everybody
Could I at least be something to you?

Don’t look so surprised--i’m a little smarter
Than every other weakling
Say no more--i know exactly what you’re going to say
Without you speaking
A familiar phrase--i’ve heard it said often before
Please forgive me
Don’t be a fool--if I can’t live with myself
How could you live with me?

Now that I’m filled with emotion you’re dispassionate
You only live for yourself while I live to regret
But don’t ever think that I could easily forget
Because I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t
I said that I would but now I know that I won’t
And the chance of being right is looking kind of remote
I may hate you sometimes (x3)
But I’ll always love you
I may hate you sometimes but I’ll always love you