Got Bees?

Got Bees?
I was sitting on the couch yesterday, watching "Forever Summer with Nigella" and thinking rather impure thoughts  when I heard "Bzzzz - Plop!" behing me. I looked up and out of a small hole in the basement wall emerged the biggest, fattest Bumblebee I've ever seen!
It took several mintues of staring and blinking for me to establish that this was not some early-morning hallucination -- as much as I'd like to imagine that I'm imagining things -- it's been awhile since I've spiked my brain chemistry and I wasn't THAT tired at the time.
The bee had fallen into some junk we keep behind the futon and was buzzing...not angrily, but in a "Hey, I'm lost -- couldja help me out?!" sorta way. Naturally, I planned to smoke her ass, but by the time I found Frito's electrified fly swatter (no, I'm not kidding), it was gone.
I wondered if what had just happened was some sort of freak accident, but even more horrifying was the thought that there might be a hive in the wall. Having offed the mice that had moved in earlier this year, taking on bees would really suck, 'cause in general I try not to harm creatures that are beneficial to mankind (I'm waiting for Scott to leave town long enough for Whiskey to have an "accident" OTOH) and Bumblebees, are very effcient pollenators due to their size, strength and long tongues (kinda like Gene Simmons). But it also those some three characteristics that cause my uh, hackles to rise (kinda like Gene Simmons!) So for now I guess I'll just let the out the front door (which, unless they know of another way in the house -- brr!) is just as good as killing them.
Hopefully, they'll be able to spend the day happily pollenatin' before they discover they are locked out of the hive and that will be that.
I suggested to Frito that we build 'em a hive - I always wanted to keep some bees...


Anonymous said...

Hey, that's not a bumblebee you've got there. It's a carpenter bee. Yes, I'm serious, a carpenter bee. It looks just like a bumblebee except a bumblebee has a fuzzy abdomen and a carpenter bee has a smooth shiny abdomen. They burrow into unfinished wood about an inch then make a 90 degree turn and make a cozy little burrow. They won't ruin your house like termites, but they will keep coming back until you paint the wood.

Jonathan said...

The other day I was browsing natural insect controls and I came across mail-order bumblebees for sale as supplementary pollinators.


The cruel thing is, all there is in the "hive" are either worker bees or drones, so you set it up, the little nippers happily do their thing, toiling amongst your flowers all day and returning to their little cardboard hive... But there's no viability in the hive, so basically they just die after 4-14 weeks and you throw the hive away. But then again, is it any different from any individual bee's life?

Anonymous said...

scott here:

I think they are bumblebees. Looked at one we had caught and it was definitely fuzzy. I've filled up cracks in the wall with spray foam, so hopefully those little buggers will take a hint!


Brian said...

Honestly, at this point, a bee's a bee's a bee.

Now, let's get back to this Nigella business . . . rather impure thoughts naturally happen when I watch Nigella Lawson. True.